Overall, this was a fun story. You managed to take a number of traditional horror-story cliches and turn them on their ear, which accounts for the high scores on Vision and Originality- it's not unique, but it's a difficult line to balance and you did it well.

I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to use and abuse of the English language. You weren't perfect, here, but you did better than most- better than I often do, and you were working under a deadline.

Finally, it's a story that shows off how ruthless Sahlia is. Sahlia is one of your best characters, in my opinion, and every story that gives a little more insight into how she thinks and operates is to be welcomed.